Monday, February 22, 2010

Ugh

Okay let me start of by saying don't be offended. I'm truly only this
critical of myself and not others.

I found out with Sariah that I just don't love breastfeeding. I know
it is supposed to be this magical loving bonding time with your
baby... But I just don't get that for myself. With Sariah she was
such a good nurser and also REFUSED a bottle. So I was a good little
mommy and nursed her for a whole year.

With Ben it has been a whole different story. First off I could
already feel myself dreading and resenting breastfeeding before he was
born. I just don't like it. I have no amazingly horrible problems but
I don't like always being on demand, having to strip off half my
clothes, the pain, the fact that no one else can do it yadda yadda. I
know I'm lame.

So I've come to the conclusion that he just isn't a good nurser. He
has had congestion problems since birth and I think that is a big part
of it. He simply will not stay latched on. He goes on and off like 10
times in a feeding. And it isn't that he doesn't have a good latch. It
is like he can't breath. He gulps gulps gulps and then yanks off takes
a deep breath and then wants more.

So I was just pushing through but started to really have a lot of pain
and cracking etc from it. Plus he is so irregular that my body never
knew when to produce milk and was often making too little It was just
making me unhappy and even more upset with breastfeeding. But yet I
feel like a failure for not doing it. Like maybe I'm just wimpig out.
Like the pain isn't that bad but I just don't like doing it so I won't
buck up.

But I came to a decision a few days ago. I decided to try pumping and
using a bottle with a little formula sometimes mixed in to supplement.
Because like I said I'm not producing enough to really satify him. So
it has been a few days in now. And today I realized I'm really so much
happier. I can pump on a schedule. I am producing almost as much as
he drinks so I don't seem to need to supplement that much. I'm having
WAY less pain.

So yeah I may be a wimp. But my mom told me today that it is important
for me and Ben that I'm happy. So I only made it 3 months with him.
But he is still getting breastmilk and I am now having those magical
loving bonding moments with him.....and a bottle :).

Sent from Sam's iPhone

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Big man

Really? He's already big enough for the bumbo seat? Ugh! Too fast!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tired

As tired as I am from gettin up at 1:30 and 4:00 last night, I do love
waking up to this in the morning!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Video for Daddy

videoSince James is still in CO we did a video to send our love.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Best mom in law

So if you didn't know I love my mom in law. She is super sweet and so
supportive. She knew James was out of town and would be for Valentines
Day so tonight she stopped by and suprised me with these!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Sleeping girl

IMG_1326

Every once in a while I have to wake Sariah up from a nap to go somewhere. I try really hard not to do this, but sometimes it is unavoidable. When I do I love to see her sleeping so peaceful. This time she was so asleep I even got a picture without waking her up. Isn’t she the cutest? (By the way- I promise I do tuck her in with the blanket over her.)

What am I feeding her

This morning Sariah comes up to me first thing and says "I like
cookies.". Then a little later says, "I want donuts.". I say "donuts?"
To which she emphatically shakes her head and says "yeah donuts.". But
since I'm feeding Ben I can't go anywhere. She goes out of the room
and gets a bowl and runs back in with it saying " I want chips."

Hmm

I promise I feed her nutrious food too!

Sent from Sam's iPhone

Wednesday, February 10, 2010