Yep still pregnant

So I think I'm now emotionally stable to talk about my doctor's appointment yesterday and the fact that I'm still pregnant.

So I will preface this with pointing out that I'm pregnant and while I can tell myself rational things, currently my over emotional side typically dominates the initial reaction to anything.

So I had my doctor's appointment Friday. I am 38 weeks along and they were going to do a sonogram weight estimate. I had high hopes that this would mean scheduling the induction for about a week later. (This was based off a previous discussion with one of my doctors that this was likely. I didn't just make that up.). So part way through the sono the tech says he doesn't look that big and right then I knew this discussion was NOT going to be what I wanted to hear. Also keep in mind that I had NO sleep the nights prior to this due to irregular but painful contractions all night long. So basically the end result of the sonogram was an estimate of 6lbs 14 oz and measuring less than my due date by a little over a week. Side note I have always measured less than my due dates with every sonogram on every pregnancy- Ben was still 9lbs and Sariah 8.5.

So the doctor did check me and yeah I'm still dilated at a 1 (same as the last two times) but I did get to 70% effacement up from 50%. Which in my mind means great, I'm doing nothing.

So she says they'll see me again on the 28th. See me. Not induce me which is what I was wanting. See part of the problem is that James sort of doesn't get the option to take days off for the first 3 days of a month, because that is their crazy time at work. So I can't schedule for the 1,2 or 5th of December. She said they "might" be able to induce on the 29th after seeing me the day before but no guarantee and even with that James would be at work the day I come home.

So now I've had a good cry and gotten really upset that what I thought was waiting 1 week will probably be waiting 3 weeks. I've almost come to grips with it. Last night, I didn't have contractions all night long like before, and that gave me more confidence that I can handle waiting. The idea of having contractions all day and night for 3 weeks just seemed so unbearable. So I was super thankful the God gave me a break.

I know that waiting longer is better. I know that it would be great for the baby to have the chance to come on their own. I know the baby will come when the timing is right. I know that this gives the baby more time to develop and be healthy. I know I shouldn't rush it and I will only be more exhausted when the baby does come. See yes I am logical and rational.

It is just I feel huge and hurt all the time so despite knowing all that stuff... I'm still pretty ready to not be pregnant.

Sent from Sam's iPhone