Corralling 4...on my own

So James still travels for work. Thankfully it is only one week a month right now. That compared to three weeks a month truly feels like a blessing to me. But it still means doing things on my own. And in December it means doing more things on my own now with a newborn too. 

Growing up we had a few traditions but not many. And I have made this little commitment to myself that I want to try to give my kids traditions and as magical of a month I can in December. So we have started a few. One thing that keeps us on track/extra committed is our advent calendar. In each day there is a felt ornament that goes on the top but also a little card that says a Christmas thing we will do that day. Sometimes I wish I hadn't started this because it can also be overwhelming. But I like that it gets us going. 

A few things that are tradition, I would much rather not do alone but this year if they are going to happen they are happening without the hubs. He was working late hours last week which meant doing the "Christmas in the Park" lights at Longview Lake on our own. And tonight we went to the live outside Nativity without him. So I'm learning to corral all four. Which isn't always pretty. Thankfully Eli did not get ran over when he ran ahead to the car. Yes our coats are probably covered in icing from the donuts after. But we managed to walk around with 2 cups of hot chocolate without spilling. However I drank some to check the temp not thinking about how I'm currently not having chocolate to see if it helps Elayne (whole other story). 

We still have to manage to go see Santa on our own which I'm not looking forward to. But moments like tonight when Ben turns to me while watching the Nativity and says "Mom I know this story!"  Those moments bring me to tears and make doing it worth it in every way. 

Cool kids

I know I fall victim to the nasty comparison bug and as much as I try to resist the voice that I know is untrue, it's still pops up from time to time. 

Yesterday I went to a birthday lunch for a friend. A person who seriously just attracts people to her because she is so loving and thoughtful. Really truly the kind of person I am inspired by and want to be more like. So naturally the other woman attending are...amazing. 

This is where the little voice comes in. Their hair and makeup are great. They are all super fashionable. They basically have it all together. Then I start feeling out of place. Like I've come to a party with all the cool kids and well I'm just not that cool. 

Then I mentally try to smash that little voice. Seriously why do I think things like this?  I'm hoping some of it is just induced my emotional sleep deprivation. But I also think it goes back to not taking time for me. I haven't spent a lot of time developing my talents lately and so I don't feel very talented. And sometimes I have to recognize that I'm talented in areas that maybe aren't as "cool". I may not be super fashionable but I'm a very good accountant. :). Yeah accounting doesn't really add up on the cool scale but it is a worthwhile talent. 

Take time for me?

So I've actually thought about this a lot lately. Even before the baby came. But then I also read a great blog about being more hospitable to yourself. Taking time to replenish yourself so you have more to give to others. 

I'm still not sure I have a great answer for how or what I should do for this. I haven't crafted for a long time. And I know my creative soul longs for that. I feel a pull to have more scripture study and more meaningful spiritual connections. I desire to be a better and more connected friend. And in a few weeks I will be able to get back on the exercise bandwagon. I also have to balance my exhaustion that always comes with having a newborn. Any free time usually goes to taking a nap which is needed for my body but doesn't fulfill my soul's needs. 

But how to find time. Or rather take time. Because time truly is a limited resource. And I do feel that I have to take time from other places and give it back to myself.

So I don't have a good solution but I know I have a problem. 😀. Hopefully I can work out a good solution too.

 And just for cuteness. Look how chubby her little face is getting. Finally filling out those perfect cheeks.