FOCUS #OLW

So I know usually these posts occur a little closer to the New Year, but hey it is only February, so close enough.  This year my word, my theme, my mantra is FOCUS.  I am a mom of 4 kids.  I am a wife to a work aholic.  We recently bought a puppy from a local shelter. I am a slight social media addict.  I still love looking at Pinterest.  My mind and focus are easily distracted.  I typically feel like I'm running behind and just not quite getting everything on my list done.  So this year, I decided to try to decrease some of the distractions.  To increase my personal focus. 

What does that mean specifically for me? (Part 1) 

Well a big goal is to become a morning person! There I said it!  If you ask my husband, he will tell you that you basically shouldn't talk to me in the morning and if at all possible let me sleep in as long as you can.  But that is going to change this year. 

Two main thoughts on this.  One is being more pleasant in the morning.  Trying not to, well basically trying not to lose it on people because I'm a grouch in the morning.  So I've been trying to be more conversational with my husband.  And kiss my kids and tell them good morning to start my day. 

Second thought is trying to get up earlier and get my workout done in the morning.  This is definitely easier said than done.  But here is the non-beating yourself up way of thinking about it.  Every day I successfully do this is a great day and one day toward my goal.  And the days I don't, I won't dwell on them.  I am someone who requires a lot of sleep to function.  So if I don't get to bed early enough getting up early is more than "just likely" not to happen.  So to be successful in this my night habits have to change.  It is February and I can tell you I didn't make it there in January.  But I did get up early more days in January than I did in December- so WIN!

More thoughts for another day. Focusing on my home, becoming more minimalistic, physically improving, etc.

#OLW #FindingFocus

  

The journey

Life has been its usual whirlwind lately. Not sure I want to stay up late enough to write it all out tonight. But we are now days away from being in our new house in Olathe, KS. And while I have resisted this decision and cried a lot of sad tears over it... I know this is the journey I'm supposed to be on. I felt prompted strongly at the beginning that the Lord wanted us to move. I felt his reassuring love as things weren't going well and after fervent prayer they started working out. And while we are still hoping and praying that everything lines up for us to close Friday, I felt peace tonight. Peace that comes when you follow the Lord's way. I'm excited for the changes this will bring to our family. To actually have James home at a decent hour during the week. To not worry about his long commute that always has people getting in accidents. To be able to just do lunch with him when I want because he's 10 minutes away. So many little and big changes are coming by removing his long commute to work. And I have no doubt that the Lord has big things in store since I know I've felt his hand in the process. 

Corralling 4...on my own

So James still travels for work. Thankfully it is only one week a month right now. That compared to three weeks a month truly feels like a blessing to me. But it still means doing things on my own. And in December it means doing more things on my own now with a newborn too. 

Growing up we had a few traditions but not many. And I have made this little commitment to myself that I want to try to give my kids traditions and as magical of a month I can in December. So we have started a few. One thing that keeps us on track/extra committed is our advent calendar. In each day there is a felt ornament that goes on the top but also a little card that says a Christmas thing we will do that day. Sometimes I wish I hadn't started this because it can also be overwhelming. But I like that it gets us going. 

A few things that are tradition, I would much rather not do alone but this year if they are going to happen they are happening without the hubs. He was working late hours last week which meant doing the "Christmas in the Park" lights at Longview Lake on our own. And tonight we went to the live outside Nativity without him. So I'm learning to corral all four. Which isn't always pretty. Thankfully Eli did not get ran over when he ran ahead to the car. Yes our coats are probably covered in icing from the donuts after. But we managed to walk around with 2 cups of hot chocolate without spilling. However I drank some to check the temp not thinking about how I'm currently not having chocolate to see if it helps Elayne (whole other story). 

We still have to manage to go see Santa on our own which I'm not looking forward to. But moments like tonight when Ben turns to me while watching the Nativity and says "Mom I know this story!"  Those moments bring me to tears and make doing it worth it in every way. 

Cool kids

I know I fall victim to the nasty comparison bug and as much as I try to resist the voice that I know is untrue, it's still pops up from time to time. 

Yesterday I went to a birthday lunch for a friend. A person who seriously just attracts people to her because she is so loving and thoughtful. Really truly the kind of person I am inspired by and want to be more like. So naturally the other woman attending are...amazing. 

This is where the little voice comes in. Their hair and makeup are great. They are all super fashionable. They basically have it all together. Then I start feeling out of place. Like I've come to a party with all the cool kids and well I'm just not that cool. 

Then I mentally try to smash that little voice. Seriously why do I think things like this?  I'm hoping some of it is just induced my emotional sleep deprivation. But I also think it goes back to not taking time for me. I haven't spent a lot of time developing my talents lately and so I don't feel very talented. And sometimes I have to recognize that I'm talented in areas that maybe aren't as "cool". I may not be super fashionable but I'm a very good accountant. :). Yeah accounting doesn't really add up on the cool scale but it is a worthwhile talent. 

Take time for me?

So I've actually thought about this a lot lately. Even before the baby came. But then I also read a great blog about being more hospitable to yourself. Taking time to replenish yourself so you have more to give to others. 

I'm still not sure I have a great answer for how or what I should do for this. I haven't crafted for a long time. And I know my creative soul longs for that. I feel a pull to have more scripture study and more meaningful spiritual connections. I desire to be a better and more connected friend. And in a few weeks I will be able to get back on the exercise bandwagon. I also have to balance my exhaustion that always comes with having a newborn. Any free time usually goes to taking a nap which is needed for my body but doesn't fulfill my soul's needs. 

But how to find time. Or rather take time. Because time truly is a limited resource. And I do feel that I have to take time from other places and give it back to myself.

So I don't have a good solution but I know I have a problem. 😀. Hopefully I can work out a good solution too.

 And just for cuteness. Look how chubby her little face is getting. Finally filling out those perfect cheeks. 

I miss my snoring bed

This has probably been one of the harder weeks having James gone. Last night I missed coming back to bed to find him snoring. I missed my bed being warm. 

My life with 4 isn't quite what I imagined. One aspect is that James was originally supposed to be done traveling before the baby came. The traveling has cut back but will continue through the new year I have no doubt. It isn't that life with 4 is awful. In fact I think it has been an easier transition than 3 was so far.  

I have lots of help and people have brought meals but it doesn't quite match up to actually having your spouse home. So thankful there is only 1 travel week this month. And thankful we get a few extra days with him home from the office next week. I kinda want to skip Thanksgiving and just stay home as a family all weekend. Is that bad?  

Life changes

We are in the process of finding a new norm. I sort of feel like we've been in this process for a while. Like since I got pregnant. First finding a routine for while I was sick. Then James' dad moving in with us. Then James changed jobs which also meant he started traveling for work. Than getting big and pregnant with no energy. Also having the basement finished so workers at our house and stuff taking over the garage. Then having the baby ....

And this is our first week with James traveling and new baby on our own. So lately it seems once we find our groove something changes. 

I'm also trying to carve "me" out again I feel like. Life has been kinda busy/all consuming. And I haven't made time for any outlets for myself. So in the new norm this time I'm trying to find something for me. Since I haven't blogged consistently for a long time, I'm pretty sure no one reads this. So I'm hoping to start one outlet here. Writing helps work through and get things out, right?  

So in all my nursing, holding baby, burping baby time.. Some of it will be writing here.  Using my phone.